1. Your bachelorette party playlist would (or did) include the song, “Get Low.” And you would (or did) follow those directions LIKE A BOSS.
2. You recently stayed up till 2am compulsively analyzing EVERY PHOTO EVER in which a certain someone was tagged.
3. You see NOTHING wrong with sending lengthy messages expressing your DEEPEST FEELINGS to a recent Tinder match.
4. Your friends consistently urge you NOT to send said messages — and suggest that doing so would result in the recipient filing you IMMEDIATELY under “crazy/desperate/run away.”
5. Your views on wedding planning are largely shaped by your [HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED] views on irony.
6. While YOU may appear at your office pool party, your BATHING SUIT most certainly will not.
7. You’re CONFIDENT that if you got paid what you spent at every bachelorette party/engagement party/wedding/baby shower, you’d be retired and sitting on a beach right now.
8. You’ve hung up on your grandma…because it was 1am and her name was RIGHT NEXT TO “Guy from Bar.”
9. You’ve been on a first date that was so bad, you legit HOPED for instant-onset food poisoning during the appetizers.
10. Your friends have enough photographic evidence (of events you don’t remember) to potentially blackmail you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.